DR. SARCOFIGUY'S CURRENT LIE: IT'S ALL FOR YOU, DAMIEN!: THE DIGITAL MANIPULATION YEAR IN REVIEW!!!!

I've been so many places in my space and time. I sang a lot of songs and made some bad rhymes!

I've acted out my life on stages, with millions of people watching!

We're alone now. . .and I'm SINGIN' MY SONG FOR YOOUUUUUU!

The year has been totally bizarre! Just the way I like it!

I've put myself through hell for ya!

I've tried to figure who'd win in a boxing match between Charles Nelson Reilly and Don Knotts! Who'd win? Who cares?! DON'T YA JUST WANNA CHANCE TO ACTUALLY SEE IT?!!!!

-From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

I've made Curly wiser than he's ever been:

ASK CURLY!: His views on HEALTHCARE! - "People only tend to their health under duress! I figure if you push enough people from a plane without a chute they'll care about their health then, wouldn't they!?"

ASK CURLY!: The Meaning of Life - "Existence is a static, palpable system or structure. What we see, feel, touch. But "life" is largely a subjective matter, to be lived as the individual, or individuals sees fit, without infringing upon another individual's designated subjective paramenters. That is, unless of course, they're a buncha wise guys, see!" - From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

I've picked on Sarah Palin!

-From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

And Regis Phibin, George Takai, William Shatner & THE MUPPETS

Perhaps I've misunderstood their facial expressions. I've noticed in the past that when Muppets want to look like they're smiling, they just simply keep their mouths open. - From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

Justin Beiber was, of course, not spared!

And the movie Burlesque certainly got my endorsement. . .sort of!

I've SHOT children inta space for the sake of shameless self-promotion!

I've turned friends inta GIANT MONSTERS!

And created movies that ought ta exist, but dudn't!

I got THE HULK singin' the blues!

-From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

I issued my grievances against totally TASTELESS commercials!

DIAGNOSIS MERRIMENT: What the HELL is wrong with the people who make those Charmin commercials?! They keep showing these bears crapping in the woods! Then they show that they have little residue speckles on their dearriers(sp?)! I can't tolerate that kinda nonsense while I'm eating! Who told them that THIS was remotely tasteful?!!!!! - From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

I've created items that never should exist on a store shelf!

-From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

And I've created movie vehicles for myself! YESSSS!

I've pitted sisters against one another!

ENCHANTED EVENING:
"Merula, why is it you mistreat me so? Is it compulsion? Revenge?"
"Estelle, darling, it's because you're a perfectionist! To give you anything less than the highest caliber of viciousness would be an insult!"
"???!!!" - From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

I've spread malicious rumors:

phyl·lo also fi·lo (fl, f-) n.
1. A pastry dough layered in very thin sheets that become flaky when baked, used especially in Greek and Middle Eastern dishes. 2. Dough that doesn't at all mind being inappropriately fondled.
-From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

DIAGNOSIS MERRIMENT!: Whatever happened to the Green Giant & Little Sprout?! Apparently Little Sprout was arrested for possession! It seems that Little Sprout was actually a marijuana bud, and he'd been routinely, and habitually, toking on HIMSELF throughout the years. As for the Green Giant? He never existed, and was simply a hallucinogenic extention of Little Sprout's fevered imagination! - From the SARCOFIGUY Facebook Page!

I've attacked you with HAM-STERS!!!!