SCRATCH N' SNIFF!!!!

Scratch n' Sniff cards!  YAY!  Their history as per WIKIPEDIA:

Scratch and sniff technology generally refers to things that have been treated with a microfragrance coating. When scratched, the coating releases an odor that is normally related to an image being displayed under the coating.

Stickers became common in the late 1970s, and grew into big business for several companies throughout the early and mid-1980s. As the technology evolved to an "acid-free" design the sticker craze seemed to come to a close.

Samples of scratch and sniff stickers are used for detection of individual anosmia, although this practice declined after the end of the Cold War.

Utility companies have sometimes enclosed scratch and sniff cards in their bills to educate the public on recognizing the smell of a methane gas leak. However, this sometimes would lead to a rash of false alarms as the scent emanating from a discarded scratch and sniff is later mistaken for a real gas leak.

MERCY, that would've been fun to experience! 

I know for me as a kid, it was the kewlest, most intimate experience ever, cuz kids like to smell smelly things alla time, right?!  There was always some kid just raucously fascinated about someone cuttin' a fart!  Or askin' if someone "let one?"  Or callin' folks "stinky" just for the hell of it! 

When I really thought about it, it was the closest I was ever gonna get to being inside of Willy Wonka's amazing chocolate factory, where he had folks lickin' on all the walls!!!!!

The best experience I'll ever have with scratch n' sniff cards was with the movie Polyester.  Here's another entry from WIKIPEDIA:

Odorama

John Waters designed Odorama for the film Polyester.  Odorama, a "scratch-and-sniff" gimmick inspired by the work of William Castle and the 1960 film Scent of Mystery, which featured a device called Smell-O-Vision. Special cards with spots numbered 1 through 10 were distributed to audience members before the show, in the manner of 3D glasses. When a number flashed on the screen, viewers were to scratch and sniff the appropriate spot. Smells included the scent of flowers, pizza, glue, gas, grass, and feces. For the first DVD release of the film the smell of glue was changed due to, as Waters states, "political correctness". The gimmick was advertised with the tag "It'll blow your nose!"

After being prompted to scratch and sniff the bouquet of flowers, a quick swap was made substituting old ratty sneakers, resulting in a joke on the audience.

Well, in the spirit of that, I decided to conduct an independent survey on what folks like to smell so I could make my OWN scratch n' sniff card!  And you know what folks want to smell?

CELEBRITIES!

Click!  Save!  SMELL!!!!

So I hung out with a few folks, own the D.L., and distilled an approximate scent related to the celebrity involved!

1.  NATALIE PORTMAN:  Oh, she smells just like she looks!  Like a fragrant garden in Florence!  Very jasmine-y and gardenia-ish!  AAAAAHHHH!

2.  KEITH RICHARDS:  He smells like he LOOKS too!  Like Egyptian funereal rites!  Bitumen and old linen bandages!

3.  LINDSAY LOHAN:  Her smell was somethin!  Like desperation, and Prada handbags!

4. JUSTIN BEIBER:  His wasn't easy, but I figured it out eventually.  He smell of surgically arrested puberty, and Italian castrati!  Oh, with a little bit of bubble gum lipgloss. 

5.  PRINCE:  He smell of expensive silks, patchoulli oils, and Kraft Mac N' Cheese! 

6.  GEORGE MICHAELS:  NO COMMENT. . .

7.  MONIQUE:  Her scent is my favorite scent, because it's just like that gum Willy Wonka created!  Yesss!  By the time I finished inhaling her, I nearly turned into a BLUEBERRY!  But she mostly smells of McGridlles and cornstarch!

8.  DR. SARCOFIGUY:  I was quite surprised that people actually wanted to know what I smelled like!  It was determined that I reminded folks of memography fluid and vanilla Alba 77!  YUM!