OVERTON LOYD: PRETTY AS A PICTURE!!!!!

Overton Loyd:  Pretty As A Picture!!!!

by Dr. Sarcofiguy, Age 45



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I was rummaging at a local music store that actually carries LP'S!  Not VINYL, but LP'S!  Meaning "Long Playin' Records!"  That's what folks used to call music on those plastic platters before they decided that it was passe' and switched to CD's! 

ANYWAY:  The good Doctor stumbled across an album from his youth.  The album?  PARLIAMENT:  FUNKENTELECHY VS THE PLACEBO SYNDROME!  Casablanca records, 1977!  Yeah, buddy!  Did that thing bring back memories!
 


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What was most especially special about this lp was that it had the actual, rarely seen, comic book inside!  YEAH!  It was Doctor Funkenstein VS Sir Nosedevoidoffunk!  It was an awesome comic drawn by the amazing OVERTON LOYD!  Now, some of you may not know this, but, Doctor Sarcofiguy's alter-ego is an artiste, and he was inspired by two people, Al Hirshfeld, and OVERTON LOYD! 



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As you can tell from Doctor Sarcofiguy's album cover (available HERE!!!!):

With this. . . .



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 AND THIS. . . .




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Oh, there was nothing like the cariacature work of the magnificent Lloyd.  It was funny.  Memorable.  And wonderfully free flowin'!  Very structured in it's "spontaneity!"  I dunno if my alter-ego ever feels like he's captured that grace of pen that Loyd, or Hirshfeld, has in his career, but he's certainly tried!



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Look for OVERTON LOYD at his website, ya hear? 

Click HERE!!!!

And for my alter-ego's, JOHN DIME'S work on his flickr site too!  HEE!!!!

Just click HERE!!!!

LATERS!

INTERVIEW WITH A GLAMPIRE!!!!!

INTERVIEW WITH A GLAMPIRE!!!!!!
By Me, that's who!!!!

Gettin' to knowwww MEEE!  Gettin' to know all ABOUT MEEEEEEEE!!!!  Hee!

The good Doctor has been most fortunate to have folks taking an interest in his wondrous career!  Yessss!  So I'm doin' a little pay it backwardsing for all the the support! 

Just consult the charmin' little links I've provided below for the recent folks that have done me a great service, ya hear!!!!?

Here's a charmin' interview, and review, with me on The Count Gore site with the loverly ATHENA, yeesssssss!

Count Gore.com

Here's an interview with me conducted by the magnanimous Scott Ruth!

Examiner.com

Here's a charmin' review conducted by J.F. Guida and S. Michael Wilson with my alter-ego John Dimes!

If you've got the time to sit on down, it's well worth AALLLLLL the talkin' Dimes and company did! 

CAUTION:  It's a geek fest beyond all known parameters!  HEE!

Moviesucktastic Podcast #26!!!!!

The good Doctor always gets his mentions on this here charmin' site!  Just scroll on

down till you find me! There's LOADS of fun stuff to be had till ya get ta me!!!!!

Terror From Beyond The Daves

LATERS!!!!!!!

BEAUTY BEYOND THE PALE or "Heroic Albinos That I've Loved!"

I hate the term albino, really.  Nowadays it emphasizes the overimportance of having a skin tone.  I'm BEIN' SERIOUS!  

People, let me tell you, when it comes to color?  There is so much prismatic diversity within the Spectral Crayola Categorical Continuum, that just calling somebody "white" or "black" is ridiculous, and just plain old LAZY!

What I want y'all ta do is buy yourself a swatch book from your local hardware store, and I want you to learn a few more color descriptions!  Fer instance, I'm NOT BLACK!  I'm more a burnt sienna, or a honey cocoa!  That's right!  And ALBINOS aren't really opaque, or devoid of color.   I refer to them as salt toned!  Sometime I've been known to use the term, POWDER, like my favorite movie character.

But my favorite descriptions for an albino's tones would be Alabaster, Snowy, or MARBLE, yeaaah.

I've already illustrated how desperately I wanted folks to produce a Sandman movie!  I've got the perfect star:

BEN WISHAW.  Oh, he was totally fantastic in one of my favorite books turned to film, PERFUME:  The Story of a Murderer, which was written by Patrick Suskind. 

As you can see, my alter-ego has manipulated a few images just to prove my point on how perfect he'd be for the role.  FUNKY, HUH?!

And then there's my other favorite Marble toned hero that I think should get the Hollywood movie treatment!   ELRIC of Melnibone'!  The journey of Elric is a wonderful blend of sword and sorcery, better even than CONAN the barbarian, I say! 

I got him cast already!  Somebody Edgar Winter-like, but not so damned old to play the part!  I was thinkin' Leornardo Di Caprio at first!  Then I saw this guy:

This Marble fashion model could do the trick, I TELL YOU!  Well, I don't know if'n he can act, 

BUT I'M DESPERATE!!!!!

OH, IF ONLY FOLKS WOULD LISTEN TA ME FOR A CHANGE!!!!

BEST ACTRESS?!!!

So, Natalie Portman got Best Actress on the Oscar's last night!  Good for her!  But she ain't as good a'actress as SPOOKY MOVIE TELEVISION'S very own BOO DE PEST!!!!!!

Sure, "Natieport" can play a crazy person, but is she crazy enough to dye herself BLUE and put on fairie wings for a very special episode of the show, that'll never air, because we couldn't afford to finish the production?!!!

Miss De Pest scalded her back somethin' awful with those damned fiber optic filamented wings she surgically attached to her back!  Said it felt like somebody put two burning hotplates on'er!  Oh, and all those fairie lights flyin' around her?!  What a great sport she was for lettin' us set off alllll those firecrackers around her!  Hell, if it wasn't for the fact I'm bald, I would singed my doo!  Hee!

Oh, if'n y'all wanna send her money so she can get her ears bobbed back into place?  The donations would be greatly appreciated!

How about this next charmin', method actress-y, disguise she donned for yet ANOTHER episode we couldn't afford to finish, with her as Mary Antwanette-Fabray, French socialite transplanted to Crab Country.  Dig that WILD hair hopper beehive she got so she could truly become a gen-U-INE BAL'MER HUN! 

Actually, we only got her dressed up in alla that stuff just to see if'n she'd do it!  SUCKER, I won the bet!  Hee HEE! 

Regardless of all the subterfuge, we love her!  Cuz she's the hostess with the MOST-ESS, the wonderful, and formidable BOO DE PEST!!!!!

I WANNA SINGA!!!!!!

Do ya'll remember that cartoon with the wittle owl singin'?!  If'n ya don't, just click on the name 

OWL JOLSON!!!! 

Much like that little owl, Dr. Sarcofiguy has always wanted TA SING so badly!  Er, um, I always wanted to sing SO MUCH, yessss!  So I scrambled some folks together and concocted a meriment of melodious malefactions for the most curiously eclectic tastes! 

So, here tiz:

DR. SARCOFIGUY'S "DEMO(NS):

THE MANY MOODS OF  DR. SARCOFIGUY!!!!"

Here's just a few titles on the MP3 collection with an accompanying "45" Record cover!  HEE:

I wrote this one, because I hate kissin' on lips caked with too much lipstick!  It don't make a lick o' sense, LITERALLY!  Gimme a lipglossed lip any day, I say!

Listen to a sample HERE!!!!

This one is a song of love and angst!  It's a doo wop that'll wop you over the head, but plenty!

Listen to a sample HERE!!!!

Well, this here melody is not about gettin' lost, but feelin' emotionally lost

whilst one is huntin' after a wavenous werewolf!  Did I just say "wavenous?!"

OH, NO I DIDN'T!!!!!

Listen to a sample HERE!!!!

Oh, this JAM will hit'cha with a BAM, I says!  And the title says it all! 

Vamps and Vampires alll the way!

Listen to a sample HERE!!!!

Break out the marshmallows cuz this song ain't even about

HEATED PASSION neither! 

This melody right here is dedicated to the memory of JOAN OF ARC!

Listen to a sample HERE!!!!



Me durin' a farewell peformance in 1968!!!!

It's horrific fun with remixes, and repurposed material (?!), along with some "serious" cuts that I wanted to croon on for the sake of croonin'!  SAMMY DAVIS JR. ain't got nothin' on ME. . . .cuz he's dead! 

But still, if'n he were alive, he'd have nothin' on me!

So click this here LINK to get your full Amazon.com exclusive experience of ME and my MP3! 

Or just get the song ya like!  You're bound to find somethin'!

And let me know what ya think by clickin' THIS!!!!

EXCELSIOR SWINGERATUS!!!!!

MR. X

My alter-ego John Dimes (who designed all the illustrations, by the by!), and I, were discussing how wonderful it would be if they would turn one of our beloved comicbook character MR. X into a movie!   We loved him back in the 80's, and most recently in the collected Volume 1 of Mr. X from Darkhorse Comics, and in the book Mr. X: Condemned, also from Darkhorse!

Oh, the colorful, film noir quality of this surreal character as he is bein' beset by the demons he inadvertently created. You see he was the chief architect of the city of Somnopolis.  His Psychotechture was suppose to subliminally, and peaceably, effect the states of mind of all the inhabitants of his fair city.  But, of course, something went TERRIBLY WRONG!  And it was up to MR. X to right this wrong!  HEE!

LOVED. . .THIS. . .BOOK!  And thank GOD for Dean Motter for creating him!

Now who would I cast as the pivotal role of the good Mr. X?  Here are my choices:

1)  Richard O' Brien:  Famed creator of Rocky Horror Picture Show & Shock Treatment!  He was fantastic in Dark City, he'd be a good choice to play X!

2)  Bill Nighy:  THIS MAN IS GOD!  He can play anything, and anybody!  I love him in everything he does!  SMOOTCHES to anybody who'd cast him!

3) Hugo Weaving:  Man's gotta the right shape cranium, and he's got that timbre of voice that just commands authority!  Great in the Matrix as Mr. Smith, so he's good at inhabiting cyphers with a secret past!  Love 'em!

4)  Tilda Swinton:  Her androgynous look has been constantly called upon in such films as Orlando and Constantine.  She's a fantastic actress that can pull off any role, any gender! 

Now all you need is a director.  Might I suggest:  Darren Aronofsky?!  Mebbe even Christopher Nolan?!  I'm just sayin'! 

A RONDO FOR HIS CONDO!!!!

CITIZEN SARCOFIGUY

Article by Connie Whang-Chung

I’m here in downtown Washington, DC at the spacious campaign headquarters of Doctor W.E.B Sarcofiguy.  There’s a flurry of activity everywhere, from young, nubile volunteers answering phones, to Dr. Sarcofiguy himself shaking hands, and kissing babies. . .a charge that he was earlier exonerated of by Circuit Court Judge Henry Plimpton.

I’ve interrupted Dr. Sarcofiguy from his busy schedule for a brief one on one about his campaign bid for the prestigious RONDO AWARD.

THE CONNIE WHANG-CHUNG/SARCOFIGUY INTERVIEW

WHANG-CHUNG:  Doctor Sarcofiguy, thank you for taking the time to sit with me. 

DOCTOR S.:  It’s my pleasure, Ms. Whang-Chung!  When they told me I was gonna be interviewed by Whang-Chung tonight, I KNEW I was gonna have FUN tonight, yesssss!

WHANG-CHUNG:  So, Doctor, you’re campaigning for the Rondo Award for Favorite Horror Host!

DOCTOR S.:   Yesss!

WHANG-CHUNG:  What’s your platform?

DOCTOR S.:  Why, it’s flat, and I’M STANDING ON IT!

WHANG-CHUNG:  It’s mahogany, I see!

DOCTOR S.:  Oh, yes!  Nothing but the best!

WHANG-CHUNG:  Let me ask you. . .how will you stimulate the economy?

DOCTOR S.:  By talkin’ suggestively about Wall Street!   To wit:   “Hey, Mr. Stockbroker!  When you’re trading, do you like it rough?”  Or, “Hey, Dow Jones!  Let me fumble with your points!  I promise I can make your stock rise, for sure!”

WHANG-CHUNG:  Sounds good!  How about the National Deficit?

DOCTOR S.:  I dunno, but “National Deficit” sounds like a great name for a ball team!  Or a boy band!  Wait—ball team.  Boy band.  Ohhhh, I’ll figure it out later!

WHANG-CHUNG:  What are you views on abortion?

DOCTOR S.:  Well, I’m kinda biased, seeing as I was the issue of an inhuman host with remarkable table manners!

WHANG-CHUNG:  I see.  And for my final question:  Where do you see yourself in five years?

DOCTOR S.:  Whatameye?!  A goddamned CLAIRVOYANT?!  I never liked that question on job interviews, and I’m damned if I’m gonna answer it now!

WHANG-CHUNG:  Thank you!

THIS CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ABUSE EXECUTIVE WASHROOMS.

ALL ADDITIONAL PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED TO THE PROMOTION OF TOOTH DECAY.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: 

“A BIG SMILE, MEANS A BIG MOUTH!”

"I APPROVE THIS!!!!"

NOW, VOTE YOUR CONSCIENCE WHILE YOU'RE CONCIOUS: 
click here for THE RONDO AWARDS!!!!

THE CURLY AWARDS

THE FIRST ANNUAL CURLY AWARDS

Dr. Sarcofiguy is sad.  He's a "BOX OF BON BONS BITTER," that he has NEVER been nominated for a RONDO AWARD!

For those of you who don't know what a Rondo is, it's an award for Horror Excellence given to folks in the horror, or genre related community!  The bust is based on the most esteemed horror actor RONDO HATTON! 

With that said, I decided to have my own award for something that I know I could definitely be nominated for:  THE MOST BALD!  So, I have your winners (sniff, sniff!  Persevere!  KEEP A STIFF UPPER LIP, Sarcofiguy!) for the first Annual CURLY AWARDS, which, of course, is based upon CURLY from the Three Stooges!

For the BEST ACTOR in MOST BALD SITUATIONS:  BRUCE WILLIS!!!!!

When he went bald, he did it with dignity!  I ain't talkin' bald with that carefully cultivated median strip
fringe aroun' ya head like Patrick Stewart, or Sean Connery!  I'm talkin'
FULL BLOWN BALD!!!!!

For the BEST MOVIE featuring a BALD CHARACTER:  POWDER!!!!

Sean Patrick Flannery did a fantastic job sportin' his freshly shorn skull cap, y'all!

The Runner Up was:  HITMAN starring Timothy Oliphant!  I definitely digged his non-wiggedness!

HALL OF FAME:

The permanent inductees are YUL BRYNNER, TELLY SAVALAS, AND ISAAC HAYES! 

They epitomized everything that is SEXY in bein' bald!  OH, YEAH!

HALL OF SHAME:

Ex-football Pro TERRY BRADSHAW, and. . . .

 . . .Pro-Wrestler HULK HOGAN!!!!

MULLETS and BALDNESS are an unholy mixture INDEED!!!!

THE MOST PROMISING RECEDING HAIRLINE GOES TO: 

IT'S A TIE between Christian Slater and Justin Timberlake!!!!!

And I give a special LIFE TIME ACHIEVEMENT CITATION TO:

Mr. Clean for his "gosh darn" wholesome image!

And if you're a fella who ain't got absolutely NO HAIR, NO HOW, like myself?!

THEN WE'RE ALL WINNERS!!!!!

ohHHHH, who am I kiddin'!?  
I gotta sing the blues about it, sigh. . .
and you can see it right HERE!!!!