BEST ACTRESS?!!!

So, Natalie Portman got Best Actress on the Oscar's last night!  Good for her!  But she ain't as good a'actress as SPOOKY MOVIE TELEVISION'S very own BOO DE PEST!!!!!!

Sure, "Natieport" can play a crazy person, but is she crazy enough to dye herself BLUE and put on fairie wings for a very special episode of the show, that'll never air, because we couldn't afford to finish the production?!!!

Miss De Pest scalded her back somethin' awful with those damned fiber optic filamented wings she surgically attached to her back!  Said it felt like somebody put two burning hotplates on'er!  Oh, and all those fairie lights flyin' around her?!  What a great sport she was for lettin' us set off alllll those firecrackers around her!  Hell, if it wasn't for the fact I'm bald, I would singed my doo!  Hee!

Oh, if'n y'all wanna send her money so she can get her ears bobbed back into place?  The donations would be greatly appreciated!

How about this next charmin', method actress-y, disguise she donned for yet ANOTHER episode we couldn't afford to finish, with her as Mary Antwanette-Fabray, French socialite transplanted to Crab Country.  Dig that WILD hair hopper beehive she got so she could truly become a gen-U-INE BAL'MER HUN! 

Actually, we only got her dressed up in alla that stuff just to see if'n she'd do it!  SUCKER, I won the bet!  Hee HEE! 

Regardless of all the subterfuge, we love her!  Cuz she's the hostess with the MOST-ESS, the wonderful, and formidable BOO DE PEST!!!!!