Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Are ya tired of being a certain race, but you don't actually wanna pay a lotta money for costly surgical procedures?!  Then try my very own patent pending process of WHITENBLACKENFICATION!

Why if black face performer Al Jolson had contacted me, he wouldn't have been nearly as racistly provocative whilst singin' Mammy!  Oh no! 

With but a few adjustments of my very own Visual Pigmentation Process, he could look like my saintly grandfather, Roscoe Lee Sarcofiguy!  YEESSSS!

MICHAEL JACKSON, god rest his soul!!!!!

Why, he could'a got ALL the surgery he wanted to his nose and doo, and still have kept that charmin' Negroid/Moorish hue!

SEE!  What did I tellya?!
Michael Jackson could'a got the process done on all his photos if'n he just
consulted me, poor thing.  And never have shown his face in public again! 

Just look at what I did for this charmin' fella below!

Look how he's sportin' that hightop fade!  VERY 80'S! 
And don't I make his blue eyes brown?!

And I DID say "WHITENBLACKENIFICATION," didn't I?!  It works in reverse too!
Mind you, results may vary the more profound your original skin tonalities!  I'm doin' one right now for actor Wesley Snipes!  Lord, he's the most difficult job of my life!  But I'm attacking it with relish. . .and a few more coats of HIGH YELLA!

Now the fella featured above, however, is lookin' a little like Cab Calloway right now!  Or even El Debarge!
But with a few more "treatments", he'll be lookin' like Pat Boone in NO TIME!!!!


  1. I met you at one of the Virginia Creepers showings at the Byrd Theatre a while back and you were nice enough to take a photo with me. I really appreciate that. If you should need a tall Goonish White man for any future Dr. Sarcofiguy productions I am at your service! Tell John Dimes he's pretty cool too. I wouldn't want him to feel left out.

  2. Jason Blood, you say? Haven't I read your exploits in the charmin' comicbook THE DEMON?!

    And I'll tell Mr. Dimes momentarily how cool he is! And he is rather cool, cuz it's remarkably frigid outside! Yesssss!

  3. Indeed my good man!!