Thursday, December 2, 2010


aH, the holidays!  I have so much to be thankful for this year!  I have money in the bank!  Well, my piggy bank!  And food in the fridge, mostly freezer burned.  But I like that waxworks look about freeze dried meat.  It's like making jerky on the cheap!

Anyway, my holiday season has a soundtrack, and that soundtracks involves a few of these little didities playing at stentorian levels in the background of my house hold.


John Water Christmas

Oh, how I love this CD!  It's like having John Waters right there in your house! And I'd love to have 'em over!  I'd serve 'em all the usual Xmas finger foods!  Pigs in a Blanket!  Tater Tots, au gratin!  Vienna Sausages!  And all served with those fancy cocktail toothpicks with the colorful little plastic filaments on them!  Oh, how it bespeaks of class and distinction, just like this CD! 

My favorite from the collection:  Santa Claus is a Black Man! 

Alexander O'Neal:  My Gift To You
 You say you wanna get down on XMAS?!  Well then this disc will getcha rockin' and knockin' the boots around ole Tannebaum, y'all! 
My favorite from the collection:  Sleigh Ride! It's dancy, and prancy!  CAREFUL, don't tread on your presents by accident whilst dancin'!

David Deboy:  Crabs For Christmas
 No, he ain't talkin' about gettin' some kinda sexually transmitted infestation over the holidays!  No!  This here is a "Ballmore" classic, Hon!

My favorite:  Aluminum Christmas Tree!  I have an aluminum christmas tree!  Oh, I love how it makes sounds as I stomp through the house, or as a good stiff breeze blows through the house because of my poorly insulated walls!  The tree actually sounds like its SINGING!  And I got the rotating colored light wheel making the thing look like a silver-haired old lady's with a badly dyed hair job!

Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
This is one of the first things I dust off and break out of my collection EVERY YEAR!  There's nothing more absurd than this talking TURD!  Every song is brillyunt, but my favorite: 
The Most Offensive Song Ever 
Oh, Kenny!  I don't know what you're saying, but I have a good idear, honey chile!

Annie Lennox:  A Christmas Cornucopia
If'n y'all wanna keep your Xmas traditional, like Dickensian, then you need to check this out like immediately!  Annie Lennox takes the Xmas standards and proceeds to sings her ass off on every cut!  I ain't lyin'!  She made me love these songs all over again with her arrangements/interpretations.  
My favorite:  Il Est Ne Le Divin Enfant, she sings it like a real Frenchie!  But you gotta see her "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" video!  It's beautiful, and insanely XMAS with her featuring that trademark zealous fervor, and insane glee in those dazzling blue eyes of hers!  She wants you to have a Merry Xmas WITH GUSTO in the vid!  Check it out here!

So hurry down to your store, or to Amazon to get you jingle on early!


  1. Hey, man! Caught you on the American Scary documentary and was stoked to just happen to run across you on a fellow blogger's page. Nice to see you doin' your thing out here, sir.

  2. Forgive me for just noticing your comment! So glad you enjoyed my yammerings in American Scary and here on my charmin' blog! And I welcome thee to it! SPREAD THE WORD FOP THE NEW YEAR!!!!


  3. Very enlightening and beneficial to someone whose been out of the circuit for a long time.